Five jobs I’d love to do (but I’d be really shit at)

With all this talk of work and career, it’s got me to thinking about what other jobs I’d love to do… and then realising why I’d be really crap at them.

I’ve always wanted to write, and to be honest I’m kind of getting away with it doing it as a job right now, so that’s obviously discounted.

But there are so many cool jobs out there that I think would be great fun to do, but unfortunately I think my talents are best placed elsewhere…

Fashion Designer

Who wouldn’t love to be involved in the glitz and glam of fashion week? Sketching away, playing with fabric and being internationally adored for your designs.

To get to go to the best parties, wear beautiful clothes and be Instagram worthy at all times. How fab would that be?


Credit Michael Mandiberg – Yigal Azraouel Show via Flickr

But you have to have a few things, namely a lot of talent. I sew but I can barely make a pincushion let alone design, stitch and create an entire Spring Summer Collection…. plus I reckon there’s a lot of stress and bitchiness in the industry…. I’d end up crying under a pile of hangers.

Zoo Keeper

I actually know someone who is a zoo keeper. They absolutely love their job and get to spend their days hanging out with penguins and cute animals galore.

Buddhika Gammudali via Flickr.jpg

Buddhika Gammudali via Flickr


But on the flipside, you’d never keep a decent manicure, you spend a high proportion of your time shovelling shit and not to mention there’s the added risk you might get eaten by a polar bear. Not enough danger money for me there.

Magazine Editor

Having worked in the writing and media industry, the life of a magazine editor still has a slightly shiny, exciting quality to it.

In fact, if given the financial backing I would run my own magazine in an instant. Not only do you have creative influence and control, but there’s a lot of freebies too.


Tetsuo Shimizu via Flickr

However, you are in a constant war between the creative and the commercial. Keeping the advertisers happy and yet not giving them so much exposure that they have no incentive to advertise. Being constantly conscious of the legal implications of the copy, plus planning and press day… it’s a lot of responsibility. Eeek!

Ice-Cream Taster

Ooooh, I do love a good ice-cream. So many flavours and so many types. You’ve got Ben & Jerry’s, Baskin Robins, Gelato, Sorbet… the list is endless.


Danielle Elder via Flickr

Testing and experimenting with new ice-cream would certainly open your eyes to a lot of new flavour combinations. And there’s always the chance that one of your creations could become a cult classic (Phish Food anybody?)

But, like most things, treats are usually best kept as just that. Treats. I think apart from the obvious weight gain, copious amounts of sugar, the chance of developing some sort of intolerance to dairy…. I think I’ll stick to one scoop for now.


Again with the glitz and glam, I’d love to be a top YouTuber. When you sit down to watch their vlogs you think how great their lives seem. Always jet setting, going to exciting events and meeting interesting people.

They are so creative with their posts and get to work with some incredible brands.


YouTubers at VidCon – Gage Skidmore via Flickr

But, I bet, and this is ultimately the same for blogs in some respects, there is an incredible amount of luck, hard work, networking and SOOOOO much faffing around with video editing.

They have streams of fans who write lovely comments, but are constantly battling trolls, criticism and accusations of selling out. Plus I imagine the comparison syndrome on that level must be intense… not being invited to the latest Benefit event, not getting sent the latest MAC lipstick, not getting invited to a premier when you were previously you were super chummy with the PR. The paranoia must be real, and a real feel of strain when it comes to the longevity of their spotlight must be acute.

So, for now, I can admire the people that do these roles. Read their magazines, look at their clothes and watch their videos. And be safe in the knowledge that no matter how fun it looks, it’s all a bit tricky for me to do… at least at this moment in time!


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